The Sort of Celebrity Nightclub Nightmares

It takes all kinds to make up the scene at the nightclub, but we all know that the occasional nightclub nightmare can schmooze their way past the loser launcher at the front door.  Besides your garden variety sloppy drunks and gropers, there’s another breed of bad dream that sometimes makes their way in, the celebrity wanna-be’s.

We’re all guilty of playing air guitar or using a spoon as a mic at some time or another, but some people take that a bit too far, and right into the nightclub.  Maybe they hope they’ll get mistaken for Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and a whole crowd will swarm asking for autographs.  Who knows?  What we do know, is it can be friggin’ annoying. 

Like that guy and girl who think they’re Chris Isaak and the hot chick on the beach.  You know, that whole seduction scene taking place on the dance floor.  There’s nothing wicked in their little game, rather they need to find themselves a different type of club to pull that crap in.  Like the kind that hands you a whip and corset when you pay admission.

Vegaster Tip: Get A Room!

Vegaster Tip: Get A Room!

The overly televised antics of the Kardashian clan in Vegas has made every girl with half an ass think she can be Kim.  And every ass thinks they are Scott.  This leads to someone who walks around the club like their you know what doesn’t stink, thinking its okay to look down on the rest of us.  It’s not, and they need to have their pedestals kicked out from under them.  Pay them no mind, someone’s going to come along and smack them back to reality.

No caption needed.

No caption needed.

Then there’s the Lindsay/Paris type.  Guys might like dig the quick lady part glimpse for a second, but should move on quickly.  The girls who are looking for that kind of attention aren’t even worth a shot at your VIP table.  Send her to play her drug induced fantasy elsewhere.  And just to be clear ladies, any guy who flashes you his junk inside the club has some kind of complex.  Don’t feed into it.

There’s also the funny kind of annoying.  Like the John Travolta wannabes who are really at the club to show off their dance moves.  What you should do with him is pull up a chair.  He needs to sit at your VIP table for a few minutes to realize he should save the stayin’ alive turns for his wedding and enjoy the Patron shots now.  You know, drunk the nerd out of him.

The girls tend to drift towards the Beyonce moves which, unless they are Beyonce, is equally as annoying, but also entertaining, if you like that kind of thing.  Don’t encourage this one to drink though, it’ll just make things worse.  

Nice suit. Is that velvet?

Nice suit. Is that velvet?

If the overly enthusiastic dancers try to pull you into their little routine, run.  Ain’t nobody got time for that when the Hennessey bottle is still full.

Anytime you come across these celebrity wannabe’s, take their antics with a grain of salt. The idea of a vacation in Vegas is to get to live a life that’s far removed from what your real one is.  You’re doing with your VIP bottle service, these guys are just taking things a bit further.

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